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| In Brugge for my 80th in 2014. |
I
returned from Britain several days ago but fatigue [and  |
Some of the guests even more colourful than
the rest! |
backache from
soft beds!] have reduced the enthusiasm normally reserved for my blog! So this is extra late! My week in Bury St Edmunds and Long Crendon was super in that I saw
lots of my family. It included the splendid Celebration of Life for
my sweet sister, Heather, who died a few weeks ago. She hadn’t
wanted a funeral service so her two ‘children’ interpreted her
final wish by organising a Celebration Day in which everyone was
asked to wear bright colours and attend, bringing a flower each.
Flowers, plants and gardens had been central to Heather’s life and
was an inspired idea while the resulting bowls of flowers were a
delightful hommage to her. There were three ‘speeches’; a
heartfelt tribute from Russell, her son; a spirited rendition of
Heather’s favourite poem, Jenny Joseph’s ‘When I Am Old,
I Shall Wear Purple’ by daughter Joanne, and an encomium
from me, full of some of the many memories from our 80 plus
companionable years. I was surprised, as I finished my tribute, to
see how many people were in tears and I guess the culprit was the final quote
from Leonard Cohen’s note to Marianne, a former lover, as she lay
dying of leukaemia and written about a year before he died in 2016. I
had very slightly adapted it and quote my version here which I announced that I
was reading to her:
“Well
Heather, it’s come to this time when we are really so old and our
bodies are falling apart and I think I will follow you very soon.
Know that I am so close behind you that if you stretch out your hand,
I think you can reach mine. And you know that I have always loved you
for your beauty and your elegance …… but now, I just want to wish
you a good journey. Goodbye old friend. Endless love; see you down
the road. “
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A second viewing of this photo by Cait!
Heather and I
playing Mah Jong on my terrace in 2017. |
Tears were soon dried, and
a long and lively afternoon
of conversation
ensued,
filled with Heather-memories, and
the cheerful, jolly
melange
of voices reverberated
as the large group of friends and relatives reminisced and chatted,
many often catching up with people they hadn’t seen in ages because
of Lockdown and geography. It was a warm and happy day, one
which enfolded rather than distressed, one
which would have pleased my sister enormously [and
which delighted the garden congregation too]
and
one
which has changed my mind around
my eventual departure for the Great Classroom in The Sky! Definitely
not a formal service for me; surely, a celebration based in a garden if I can get
the timing right for the weather and temperature! I
am considering booking the same garden, in fact! It
is quite perfect
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| Heather, en fleur, at 15 in 1955. |
After
I had written the title of this blog, I was reminded of Janus, the
God of motion who looked after passages, caused actions to begin and
presided over all beginnings. Since movement and change are
interconnected, he had a double nature, symbolised by his two-headed
image.
SO,
I was in the U.K. for a very sad reason which caused me to revisit
the past, but Janus-like, my children and I were also looking ahead
to start to implement my recent decision to return to Britain and go to live near my
youngest, in Bury St Edmunds. The result is that I found, and am
starting to buy, a small, two bedroom flat there, a choice which ticks many of
my desired boxes; a terrace; a lift; a spare bedroom; in the
mediaeval heart of the little town; near the beautiful Abbey
Gardens! Perhaps Janus was presiding over this beginning to the next
phase of my life to which I am looking forward while simultaneously
feeling sad, contemplating leaving my present beautiful apartment and
terrace in Brugge. A typical
mixture of many human decisions; change and movement; anticipation
and regret.
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Remains of the Abbot's Palace in the Abbey Gardens,
Bury St. Edmunds, Suffolk. |
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| Abbey Gardens with Cathedral in the background |
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| Heather in Brugge, 2017.or 2018. |
