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Christmas staff in the kitchen |
Another pause in the blogs due to late-onset panic over Christmas
fast approaching. In the event, all was serenely ready chez moi with
absolutely no evidence of feet paddling furiously below water!
Lights, tree, greenery, berries, tinsel; all was in place. The
Suffolk branch of the family arrived safely on Friday the 22 Dec while the Californian contingent appeared on Saturday 23.
They had vowed to bring Christmas to me and they kept their promise
handsomely. Cait and Olivia had done a mega Waitrose shop of food and drink to cover the four days of celebration; Sian and Rob arrived with copious quantities of alcohol bought in England between their UK arrival on Friday and departure for Brugge on Saturday. My own generous quantities of beer and wine were hardly touched though the sheer number of empty bottles by D for Departure Day on Wednesday 27 was awesome. My
terrace, windswept and far from its lovely autumn-hued best, served
nonetheless as a capacious outdoor repository for the alcohol, the
turkey the ham, etc. ‘Repository’ seems an appropriate word for
the wealth of food and drink on display.
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View from our breakfast table
in Blackbird on Christmas Eve.
Outside, almost deserted;
inside, candle-lit and humming.
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‘The Fam
ily’ was marvellous in doing everything and not
permitting me to do anything. Any number of times as I slunk away
from the kitchen area [kitchenette is a more accurate word] in the
face of a barrage of ‘
Go and sit down; we’re doing it all,’
which was marvellous in lots of ways, not least
letting others face
the challenge of a single oven and a tiny kitchen area in which to
prepare, cook and serve Christmas dinner for seven. I pondered other
nuances not dreamt of by ‘Those In Charge’ but felt subliminally
by me. And not always subliminally! Irritation, resentment, the
immediate consequences of ageing, of slowing down, of Not Being In
Charge as usual. AND the reluctant acknowledgement that, in fact, I
just couldn’t have managed to cook the super Christmas meal [and
other meals] that the lovely others produced. I sometimes
congratulate myself silently on being well-balanced in letting go of
things I can no longer manage, like running or the complex
organisation of an event, for instance. I tell myself that that is
mature ageing; embrace the many things I can do and relinquish those
I can’t without a fuss. But somehow, with Christmas and family
meals, there was an inner discord which jangled; an unintended
undermining of the Essential Mother, the Inner Matriarch, which I
hadn’t expected or perhaps didn’t know existed. On some level, I
minded and unreasonably felt displaced, while being incredibly
grateful for all that my daughters, grand-daughters and son-in-law
[the lone brave male present!] so cheerfully did, so well.
It was lovely to spend so long a period with grand-daughters too;
mine are aged between almost 7 and 24, I rarely spend an extended
time with any of them. The uninhibited dance routines, boisterous
singing including rap, hugely cheerful and loving presence of the six
year old proved to be irresistible to all of us. The quiet beauty and
elegance, plus the interesting depths of the sixteen year old were a
delight to observe. While the incredible amount of work, planning,
list-making, organisation while remaining so willing and cheerful, by
the oldest was an astonishing and impressive performance.
In the New York Times of Friday 29 December, I read an interesting
article,
Can Kindness Be Taught? A number
of American pre-schools are trying to do just that, thanks to a
challenge from the Dalai Lama. The Centre for Healthy Minds at the
University of Wisconsin has developed a Kindness Curriculum through
which very young children are helped to pay attention to their
emotions. This is interesting particularly because I noticed
this Christmas how transformed in many ways is my youngest
grand-daughter. When I was in California in April, she could best be
described as ‘tricky’; sometimes co-operative and charming but
often surly and unco-operative. This time, a much more
mature girl was present; not only helpful, funny and entertaining but
also with an underlying concern to be kind and thoughtful towards
others. Any number of times she quoted how important it is to be kind
and sensitive to others’ needs. Her parents said that the Roman
Catholic school she attends sets great store by sensitive behaviour
towards others and it also encourages its pupils to look into their
own emotions; how they feel, etc. I have no idea if this is simply
far-sighted school policy or perhaps
adherence to the Kindness Curriculum
but the result was impressive; hugely so.
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This is not a kindness!
One example of regal Festive rest.
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